Wow. Exam BluesTM have hit with full force. I'm completely fed up and have absolutely no motivation to study. I had a very bad weekend, study-wise, and now I just feel incredibly guilty. I actually felt guilty about it at the time, but nothing I could say or do to myself seemed to make me really focus. I've realised that part of it probably has something to do with what's going on at work, because I don't know if it's worth carrying on with the exams. In fact, I've pretty much decided that I don't want to be an actuary "when I grow up", but it seems really stupid to give up the exams now. I'd have nothing to show for the last three and half years. I have some exams under my belt, but they mean nothing, collectively. A few more exams would get me the Diploma in Actuarial Techniques, but the order that I have to do my exams in would make it awkward for me to get that within the next two years.
I'm feeling really withdrawn. I'm avoiding my friends in London, for some reason unknown to even me (actually it's probably because they're all trainee actuaries, so talking to them just stresses me out) and being really quiet at work. Even when I call home because I'm feeling a bit homesick (another symptom of the Exam BluesTM), I find myself either not having anything to say, or not having the energy to say anything. Which makes a phone call, a bit dull.
Sorry if this sounds like a pity party. But that's because it is. It's my blog, and I'll cry if I want to!
Don't worry, I'm not crying. I just feel a bit flat is all.
About Me
- Eileen
- These are a few of my favourite things: snow, grass, sunflowers, my nephews, texting, red wine, Italian food, Christmas, sunshine, The Barenaked Ladies, musicals, shoes, Glasgow, Jane Austen novels, the smell of Flash, sleeping in freshly laundered bedding, thunderstorms, going to the cinema, Starbucks, Geeke Trippes, upgrading my mobile phone, getting new emails, takeaway and a movie, thick carpet, passing exams, Amazon, getting paid, walking around in my bare feet, visiting my family, getting snail mail, my iPod, buying things for my new house (before I have to actually pay it off!), presents, yoga, waking up in the middle of the night and realising you can go back to sleep for another few hours, house parties, chocolate, sleeping in, Savlon, dogs, Cranium, new haircuts, coconut body butter, Harry Potter, champagne, my glasses, long hot baths, raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens!
4 comments:
I blame Mars. [wink]
And [hug]
If you're feeling a bit flat, I'd recommend a good film and some ice cream, snuggled on the sofa [up]
I hope the flat feeling passes soon, but I know that sometimes there's nothing you can do to hurry it along and it just needs to pass in its own time.
[hugs]
I feel the same way about my taxes.
I'll do just about anything to avoid getting them organised.
Though, I won't feel guilty about not having them done until April 14th ;]
Hello, Mgan's little sister here. I think I know how you are feeling. I am in my fourth year of a five year psych undergrad and I am not very liking the schoolwork right now. I feel very burnt out and I can't even enjoy the things I do because I always think that I should be doing schoolwork. I'm trying not to care about school right now by doing other things; I've given into my lack of caring. Sometimes I find that snuggling kitties can help, or also doing something that is really productive and is not related to schoolwork, like knitting a bear hat for Daphne Rose. I hope that when it is over that you have a good recup time doing lots of fun stuff.
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